Friday, 3 May 2013

How to be a London Tourist.


I was one of the luckiest people ever this weekend just past. I was taken to see Pink at the O2 in London.

I'll give you a minute just to let that sink in.


PINK.


At the O2.


In LONDON.


I'll treat you to some photos before I get to my point:






























Yes, I can readily admit that I fan-girled. I bought a T-shirt, I even bought a keyring. She was absolutely amazing, and I would give anything to see her in concert again.


But the overwhelming thing about the weekend was this - I could not live in London. It's so busy, and hectic and completely different to everything I'm used to. So instead of lamenting the fact that I'll never be suitable for my country's great capital, I focussed on something else - I am AMAZING at being a tourist in London.




RULE #1 - YOU CANNOT KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING

My family and I have been down to London quite a few times, on various sightseeing trips. But I realised on this trip that even now, we still don't really know what's going on. We decided that on Friday night we would eat at the Hard Rock Cafe. We've been going to them across the globe for several years now, and a trip to London isn't complete without going and getting a T-shirt and burger.





So we got on the tube. Easy enough. One stop, two stops, three stops, four stops, until we got to South Kensington. This is the majorly fancy part of London and I felt extremely out of place being in the presence of so many Porsches and BMWs. Mum told us that she knew where it was from there so we started to walk.


We got to the Hard Rock Cafe over an hour after leaving South Kensington tube station.





So my first rule for being a London tourist is this - you can't know where you're going. Get off at the wrong tube stations, stand on the wrong side of the escalators and make sure that you complain lots about London being complicated.


I know I did...


RULE #2 - COMPLAIN ABOUT EXTORTIONATE PRICES


I never learn that everything in London is more expensive than at home. I always get down there and am completely taken aback at the cost of everything. Even the basic things like water, seem to cost a bomb. So, in true London tourist style, I make a point of letting people know that what I am purchasing is easily half the price in Glasgow. 



"NO! I DON'T WANT YOUR EXCLUSIVE EXTRA THINGS!"
Even the museums are at it, and they are supposed to be havens of fun and learning. While we were there this weekend, we visited Ripley's Believe it or Not museum and it was actually really good. We saw the World's Tallest Man, the World's Fattest Man, and chastity belts painted with pretty pictures.

So if you want to be a typical London tourist, be sure to complain to everyone about the costs. Whine, whinge and whack if you have to. Just don't get in trouble. No London tourist wants that.


RULE #3 - GO CELEBRITY HUNTING. AND MISS THEM ALL.


We thought we were actually being pretty awesome this weekend, since we sat down in a Caffe Nero not far from Leicester Square, and across from us was Andrea Corr from The Corrs. In case you don't know, they were a band that my mum and I loved in the 90's, and they were pretty awesome.



We saw the woman second from the right.
So we left Caffe Nero, secretly pleased with ourselves that we were in the hip part of London, where all the celebrities hang out. The rest of our weekend was quiet, we shopped, we ate, and I personally kept my eyes peeled for any more famous people. 

On our last night in London, we got to our hotel room and put the TV on. Only to see that the Olivier Awards had been held that day in Covent Garden. WHILE WE WERE IN COVENT GARDEN.


The VIP list included James McAvoy, Tom Hiddleston, Helen Mirren and so many more, it doesn't bear thinking about. 





So if you're going to be a proper London tourist, then look out for all the celebrities but unless you somehow miss the big awards show happening round the corner from you, then you just aren't doing it right.